tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7102565543549142384.post6914078985846434541..comments2024-02-24T01:54:03.710-05:00Comments on Regent Law Family Restoration: University of Virginia Lacrosse Murder Trial Highlights College Drinking, Gender Issues, and FamiliesRegent Law Centershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07743497742242077738noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7102565543549142384.post-46830650024968362992012-03-25T01:00:37.111-04:002012-03-25T01:00:37.111-04:00Great post, David. I agree with Margo and Paul th...Great post, David. I agree with Margo and Paul that George is responsible for his actions. Parents are the most influential figures in determining the attitudes and actions of their children when it comes to alcohol, drugs, and sex. In a 2009 survey by CASA at Columbia, more than 1/3 of teens surveyed witnessed one or both parents drunk, and of the 17 year olds surveyed about 1/2 had witnessed one or both parents drunk. Teenagers who have witnessed their parents drunk are twice as likely to get drunk in a typical month. The statistics evolve into the likelihood of teens engaging in the use of other drugs, and sexual activity. Then the children go to college where they will often be "on their own" for the first time, and as most people are well aware colleges do not foster the concept of self-restraint, and alcohol, drugs, and sex are readily available. In essence, I firmly support the position that parents need to talk to their chilren, but hypocrisy is obvious to children. Parents must be willing to demonstrate their attitudes by action and exercise greater self-restraint in their own lives. The "hook-up" culture is abusive in and of itself, people are abusing their bodies, but are completely disconnected from such implications. All the things of value in a sexual relationship are lost when it becomes a casual exercise, a collection of who you've been with, or just another piece... it's just not special, anyone can have "it." For women especially, that can strongly impact an overall sense of self-worth because there can still exist a sense of shame. And when faced with an abusive relationship it can create ridiculous notions that "they deserved it." If they report a violent incident with someone they "hooked-up" with they might have to face embarrassment and accountability for the choices they made. The case at hand did not seem to be a hook-up situation, but still one of saving face. Colleges and Universities go to great lengths to protect their most sacred institutions - sports. Athletes know what will bring embarrassment and shame on their programs that might lead to school or NCAA sanctions or otherwise bad press. And of course, you must never jeopardize the team (if George's behvior was not negatively impacting the team's ability to win, it could wait until the end of the season). This case is a sad story with many lessons.Kunikisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7102565543549142384.post-5868526258490594812012-03-23T14:05:42.968-04:002012-03-23T14:05:42.968-04:00There can be no doubt that this man’s actions were...There can be no doubt that this man’s actions were heinous and unwarranted. However, equally disturbing was the ex-girlfriend's self-victimization by failing to put the authorities on proper notice following the first act of physical abuse, a problem no less deserving of society’s attention. Obviously, the self-destructive issues faced by George were the product of his own poor choices, conduct that was only reinforced by (what appears to have been) over-indulgence and lax parenting, (an observation that is itself reinforced by the fact that George’s father failed to contact the police, or seek intervention of any kind, following the fight that ensued in the wake of George’s ongoing drinking the day of the murder). Thus, it is cavalier and cursory to suggest that the victim “only had herself to blame” given her “inaction”. Even if she had done everything in her power to protect and distance herself from George, there is no way to know for sure whether such action would have proven sufficient to prevent the events that occurred in 2010. Nevertheless, the unwillingness, and perhaps the inability, to report physical abuse that occurs within the context of domestic (or merely romantic) relationships appears to be an ongoing social problem of epidemic proportions. Society must strive to be just as vigilant in encouraging the voluntary self-reporting of physical abuse by victims as it seeks to be in encouraging intervention for the instigators of such abuse. Likewise, in accordance with the family-based mode of intervention advocated by this post, families should seek to inculcate values and practices that will encourage girls and young women to report, without exception, incidents of physical abuse and victimization when they occur.Paul Morinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15090369036402305487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7102565543549142384.post-56758654666030815452012-03-19T08:53:43.748-04:002012-03-19T08:53:43.748-04:00Thank you for this informative post. While I do th...Thank you for this informative post. While I do think that there is a culture of drinking and inappropriate behavior at colleges and that families do have some influence, college kids are old enough and mature enough to make their own decisions. <br /><br />I do think that the values and morals that parents instill in thier children help to mold and and influence the decisions that the children make later, there comes a point that children make thier own choices. According to the blog, the father disapproved of how much the son was drinking because he commented on the amount and the two even got into an argument over it. Even though the son knew that his father thought his drinking was out of control, the son still continued to drink anyway. <br /><br />In short, although parents do play a huge role in molding children while growing up, there comes a point where the parents are not able to control children and children make thier own choices and should be solely responsible for those decisions.Margohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13599544651129688996noreply@blogger.com