This guest post is offered by Alexis Heaslip, wife, parent, and student:
The topics of sex, gender, and relationships are quite daunting for parents to discuss with their children. Because of the influence of peers and social media, many parents feel that maintaining Christian values in all aspects of life is impossible. The good news is that’s not the case. A parent should make sure that children are properly educated on what the Bible says and what Christian teachings are on sex, gender, and relationships. Fortunately, the Bible has clear instructions for these topics and through scripture parents will be able to know how to properly teach and educate children on these hard and sometimes awkward topics.
When it comes to sex, the Bible has clear messages. Sex should be between a husband and wife, and the two become one. God wants man to “be fruitful and multiply”; however only in the context of marriage (Genesis 1:28). Through the love that man and woman have for one another, they commit themselves to each other exclusively and hope that through the becoming of one flesh that children are brought forth into the world. In order for children to have a full understanding of the importance of marriage when it comes to sex and what sex is for, parents should be aware of the responsibility they have to raise children that fully understand their faith (Humanae Vitae). If children are taught, through the actions and teachings of their parents, to respect life, then sex will not be seen as just an act for fun, but rather a union between two people that love each other in the hopes of bringing life into the world. Although many parents shy away from the topic of sex, it is critical that parents speak to their children about sex at the appropriate time and how important chastity is. Through the example of their own chastity, parents can maintain in the family a positive atmosphere of love, virtue, and respect for the gifts of God (Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality). This will give a positive yet reverent outlook on sex that emphasizes the importance of sex in the context of marriage.
Gender has been a hot button topic these past couple of years and can be confusing for parents and children alike. Thankfully, the Bible clearly states that “God created mankind in his image; in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27). Despite the fact that the Bible clearly says that there is indeed male and female, our modern culture tries to tell us that there is no such thing as gender. In this day and age of gender confusion, parents must be firm in teaching their children to be faithful to God’s design, reminding them that their body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and they should glorify God in their body (1 Corinth. 6:19-20; Humanae Vitae). Since love is a precious source for the self-giving which all men and women are called to make for their own self-realization and happiness, it is imperative that parents are diligent in demonstrating through their marriage the differences in men and women and how they naturally complement each other.
Sexuality characterizes men and women in three different ways: physically, psychologically, and spiritually. When educating children about these differences it is necessary to know that each child is a unique and unrepeatable person and must receive individualized formation. One child may react differently than another and parents should be able to talk to their children individually. While individually explaining sexuality to a child, parents should always make sure that moral dimension is always a part of their explanation while making sure the information given is not too soon for the child and that the information is in the broadest context possible (Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality). Finally, it should be emphasized that chastity, no matter the state of life, is possible and brings joy. (Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality)
This leads to the idea of relationships. The Bible says many different things about relationships; however there is one particular passage that demonstrates how we are supposed to treat each other in peace: “I...urge you to live in a manner worthy of the call you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another through love, striving to preserve the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:1-3). A relationship of peace between husband and wife will demonstrate to children the type of relationships that they should have with others, whether friends in school, teachers, other authority figures, or the relationship that they will eventually have with their significant other. How parents relate to one another will directly impact how children think of and treat others. As parents, our love should be an act of free will-- a love which is total; faithful, and exclusive of all others until death; love is fecund, bringing new life into being, not just confined to husband and wife loving each other (Humanae Vitae). If spousal relations do not entail all of these characteristics of what married love is supposed to be, then children will not have a solid example as to how a beautiful relationship is supposed to look. Parents need to set the stage so that their children know what a healthy relationship is. The duty of parents to rouse their children to love and do good works is paramount for building up the love that children will have for the Lord (Hebrews 10: 24-25).
Although these are somewhat challenging and seemingly overwhelming topics, sex, gender, and relationships are subjects from which parents should not shy away. Although there are many obstinate ideas in the world about sex and gender and relationships, the Good News of the Lord shows us what true love and healthy relationships are. Parents should look to the Bible in times of education and stress while raising children, and His word will indeed guide them in the direction of educating their children with the truth.
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