6.01.2022

How to Spot a Potentially Violent Teen - Washington Watch with Tony Perkins, Family Research Council

 



The Family Research Council afforded me an opportunity to be interviewed by Tony Perkins in their Washington Watch Radio Broadcast based on research I did in The Rising Tide of Juvenile Violence: The Natural Disaster of Values Free Education, Culture and Families, 1 Barry U. L. Rev. 109 (2000).   

Here's the interview:

Q--Your research confirms how the breakdown of the family drives so many of our societal ills. You’ve identified common denominators that afflict children—especially young males—who find trouble. Tell us about this.

A-Yes, these common denominators make an appearance in almost every teen killer tragedy. 

There is low or not very meaningful parent involvement in the child’s life.

The child spends a great deal of time alone.  Far too much time alone.

There is some sort of stress on the child, and that stress increases to a crescendo in the horror.

There is a decreasing sense of truth, a lack of a meaningful values/spiritual base/

Most disturbing of all is the lack of remorse, and absolutely no fear of consequences.  This is unprecedented. Each of these elements come back to the values a child gains, or not, from his family.

Q--Among the most heartbreaking things we saw last week in Uvalde were the parents and family members gathered outside the school…literally powerless to act. How can we empower parents?

A-  Yes, parents have had their authority taken from them seemingly as a price of public schooling. Parents need to know, however, that they are empowered by God to parent their children.  Chosen by Him, they are charged with teaching, living, and loving their children. Deut. 6 needs to be our guide, to love the Lord our God with all our hearts, minds, and souls, and with all our strength, to have His commands on our hearts and to impress then on our children, talking about them when you sit at home, or are on the road, when we lie down and when we get up. This daily cycle of living is parents and families transferring to children the values that protect life, and the lives of others, with the guidance of a loving and holy God.

B-   Parents then need to know that this charge to us as parents from God is inalienable, and is protected in the United States Constitution as a right older than the Bill of Rights, by case law that has been affirmed again and again, that parents have the right to direct the upbringing of their children.  With those parental rights come the parental duties to take responsibility for your child’s education. Whatever else they might have been told by a political or school authority that doesn’t line up with these truths must be resisted wholeheartedly.  Parents need to know that they do not check their constitutional rights at the school house door. And they need to act like the responsibilities they carry – that they are charged with the protection of their child, physically, educationally, and in every other way – are directly from God, as they are.

Q--What would you say to the parents and grandparents watching this evening who are present in their children’s lives and desire to continue to train up their children in the way they should go?

A.   I say Bravo!  Gather your children and your children’s friends and their friends friends, encourage other parents and grandparents.  Here are 5 easy steps to focus on:

1 Live out Deut. 6 mentioned above by loving God, knowing His word, and teaching that to your kids.

2 Spend large quantities of TIME with your kids, lots of time! Kids get quantity time, as Dr. James Dobson says.

3 Keep your marriage stable; your child will find in your marriage and family his own stability.

4 Respect your child.  When he knows that you respect his thoughts and ideas he is empowered. Practice mutual respect for others – your spouse first, your children next, his teachers, and other adults, etc.  This transfers that mutual respect to your child.

5. Take responsibility for your child’s education.  There is no room anymore for apathy or abrogation.  It is up to you, so keep on keeping on.  The result is so worth it!

Dear Heavenly Father,

In the wake of this terrible tragedy and other trauma in our lives today the importance of family and parents, as our children’s first and most important teachers, needs renewed attention.  Each debate surrounding this tragedy can be traced back to the values we teach our children and our willingness to live out what we teach. 

As summer approaches and families can have more time together, we pray that parents will spend more time with their kids, and be blessed with longer evenings and vacation time.  We pray that Christians who know that the family is the building block of society will jealously guard their family time and use it wisely during these summer months.  We pray that parents will get even more involved with their children, their kids’ friends, their activities and interests. We pray that homes where parents and children merely co-exist will be shaken to the core to change.  We pray that parents will invest in their children’s lives by teaching and living the right values, as in Deut 6:4-9.  And we pray that You will show parents if their children are headed in the wrong direction, to open lines of communication and reassert their role as parents.  Please Lord, give wisdom, strength, and patience to stay the course.*  

We pray this in Your mighty name, Jesus, Amen.

*Adapted from FRC's Carol Bauer prayer, reprinted at footnote 53 of The Rising Tide of Juvenile Violence: The Natural Disaster of Values Free Education, Culture and Families1 Barry U. L. Rev. 109 (2000). 

 

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