What God Says to the Victims of Infidelity

 

This guest post is from Regent Family Law student, Caroline Jackey:

Infidelity can deeply wound a relationship, leaving spouses and children grappling with emotional devastation and turmoil. This kind of betrayal is profound, and the aftermath can trigger intense grief, trauma, and bitterness. Victims of infidelity experience trauma akin to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Long-term effects on mental health, such as anxiety, depression, and pervasive mistrust, can linger, casting a shadow over future relationships and personal well-being. Children, too, bear the weight of infidelity's aftermath, experiencing confusion, anxiety, and a profound sense of instability. Caught in the crossfire, they may internalize guilt and responsibility, struggling to navigate their emotions and perceptions of love and faithfulness. Disrupted parent-child relationships, loyalty conflicts, and pervasive mistrust can further worsen their distress, shaping their worldview and future relationships.

            Often, in the face of infidelity, the only thing that Christian victims are told is “Forgive.” And yes, the Bible emphasizes the importance of forgiveness in rebuilding trust, highlighting the transformative power of forgiveness in healing broken relationships and restoring trust. James 5:16 encourages confession and prayer as means of healing and restoring trust, highlighting the significance of humility, forgiveness, honesty, and a commitment to reconciliation, with faith in God's guidance and grace throughout the process.

            However, what Christians who have experienced infidelity should be told first is that it is okay to grieve and be hurt. No matter where we live or who we are, God sees us, and He knows every detail of our pain. He also doesn’t waste the pain in our lives. Psalm 139:23 encourages us that God sees us in every moment of our lives: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” And because God feels our pain, victims can feel angry, hurt, sad, depressed, or betrayed, and God will be with them in their hurt and comfort them (Psalm 56:8).