3.24.2020

A Call to Action: Strive for the Solution in Domestic Relationships

This guest blog post is from a current Regent Law Family Law student:


The Story

Miguel stood with his back against the door frame, his heart pounding. Fear and sadness filled his heart. As he looked at his dad’s face, he knew that something was seriously wrong. That face was not filled with the love and compassion that a father should have for his child; instead, it was marked with contempt, disgust, and hatred.

The blood dripping down Miguel’s face mingled with something else: his tears. The physical pain in Miguel’s bleeding head paled in comparison to the emotional pain in his heart. It was the pain of being subject to his dad’s anger and the pain of feeling the absence of fatherly love. Miguel wanted it to end. He wanted to get away, or to be swallowed up by the floor underneath his feet. Anything else would have been better. So intense was his burden that to die, it seemed to Miguel, would have been better.



The Problem

Miguel’s story illustrates just one particular aspect of a larger problem of abuse and mistreatment in domestic relationships. Domestic issues include physical, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse, and are pervasive throughout the United States today. Lists of domestic issues include parent abuse, child abuse, elder abuse, and sibling abuse, suggesting that no one is completely immune to abuse. Statistics, combined with Miguel’s saddening story, paint a dark picture. But there is a solution.



The Solution

Returning to the story, Miguel (years later, as an adult) described his family situation in detail to an acquaintance. The acquaintance asked a very relevant question: “How are you not dying inside?” The sad truth is that many individuals who have experienced abuse are “dying inside,” so to speak. But Miguel’s response was to point to Jesus Christ, to whom Miguel credited his ability to survive, and even thrive, in the wake of the abuse that he underwent as a child. Miguel’s life had finally taken a turn for the better.



As Miguel’s story demonstrates, it is possible to survive and thrive even after a rough childhood. The Biblical story of Joseph further supports this conclusion; Joseph was taunted by his family and then sold into slavery (Genesis 37), but he eventually rose from captivity to power (Genesis 41:39-41). He used that power to save many lives—and even to feed and protect those who betrayed his trust and sold him as if he was a sack of corn. Joseph’s story is an excellent example of the ability to overcome a difficult family history, and Joseph’s behavior is an excellent example of a principle that Miguel lives by today: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil.” (Romans 12:17) Miguel knows, as Joseph knew, the solution that God can bring to those who need help.

Everyone has a responsibility to strive for this solution. People who have experienced abuse or mistreatment can be inspired by Joseph’s and Miguel’s stories to overcome the difficulties of the past. Lawyers can counsel clients from a moral perspective, pointing people to Jesus as Miguel does. And law students, in preparing to counsel clients, can pray for and practice humility, self-control, service to others, and spiritual leadership like that which Joseph exemplified. This is Christian leadership that will restore families and change the world. 

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