Lawyers Learning How to Facilitate Marital Reconciliation

Juile Maxey, Regent 3L, who took Family Law in the Spring of 2011, has described her experience in working on an assignment to draft a document that would serve a struggling married couple in restoring their family.  She writes:

It's no secret that Americans live in a culture inundated with divorce.  Even within Christianity, the divorce statistics are staggering.  I fear that my generation has almost grown numb to the painful concept of divorce and we see it as just another event that will probably occur in most people's lives.  As future attorneys, we are faced with the enormous issue – Can we turn the tide of divorce in our nation?  And if so, how can it be done?

It is a reality to me that men and women will step into my office one day and want out of their marriages for one reason or another.  In Professor Kohm's Family Law course, we have been exposed to tools that will enable us, as Christian attorneys, to chisel away at the monster of divorce.  One such tool is the reconciliation agreement each student drafted for the course.  The reconciliation agreement is similar to a typical separation agreement with one glaring difference – the focus of the agreement is to see the married couple reconcile their issues rather than cut their losses and get out of the marriage.  I've never known a person to enter into a marriage hoping it ends in separation and divorce.  When two people get married, there is hope that the union will last until death parts them.  The reconciliation agreement is about restoring the hope that was a foundational element of the marriage in the first place.

To some, this may seem too idealistic.  I would wholeheartedly and happily disagree with that person for several reasons. 

First, the reconciliation agreement is a valuable learning tool in a Family Law course.  Being that the main difference between the reconciliation agreement and a separation agreement is the end goal; the rest of the document is largely the same.  It covers the same issues and the documents are drafted in the same way.  So, not only do the students understand how to draft the reconciliation agreement but also, a typical separation agreement...two birds with one stone.

Additionally, we cannot continue to use the same legal tools and public policy we have been using and expect to see different results in separations and divorces.  The reconciliation agreement offers a relatively new approach to remedy a crumbling marriage.  During my (short) life, I have witnessed the trend in America - for thousands of couples, the only remedy that made sense to a hurting marriage was to separate and divorce.  The reconciliation agreement lets hurting couples know that there is another alternative; a much less messy and destructive alternative.  Although the reconciliation agreement seems like the underdog in the fight against divorce, even just a handful of saved marriages would be a giant victory against the enormous beast divorce has become.

Finally, no matter a person's religious beliefs, divorce is never a sought experience.  But as a Christian, I believe marriage is a sacred institution given to man by God and it is something we should fight to protect.  The reconciliation agreement is a way to unapologetically promote staying together and working out issues in a marriage instead of throwing in the towel.  I believe Christian lawyers have something very unique to offer clients outside of legal expertise – Hope.  I'm not saying Christian lawyers should try to have a prayer meeting and baptize every client that walks in the door.  But I do believe that we should fashion relationships with clients that present a message of hope for their future rather than a message of revenge, anger, greed, or bitterness.  I don't pretend to think this is always easy to achieve but I do believe that using a tool such a the reconciliation agreement brings clients one step closer to grasping the hope that we have in Christ.

Drafting the reconciliation agreement in Family Law was a valuable experience.  Not only do I feel better equipped and prepared to meet the needs of future clients, but, I know that promoting a reconciliation agreement will be an important tool to chip away at the monster of divorce in our nation.