The Positive Impact of Open Adoption

 

    This guest post is from Rebecca Brown, Regent Family Law student:

In the years preceding my coming to Regent University Law School, my family went through some challenging times. However, many blessings came out of these challenges. In a four-year time span I went from not being an aunt to being an aunt of a niece and two nephews.

Surface level that may seem like a typical milestone in someone’s life, but mine was slightly different. My brother did not make the best decisions when it came to relationships in his early twenties. He had his first daughter with a long-term girlfriend that though they are no longer together they do co-parent my niece. Then four months later my first nephew was born. Due to his biological mother's decision and the hostility surrounding her and my brother's relationship my nephew was given up for adoption. The adoptive parents, however, made the choice of open adoption. Because of that decision my family is very much involved in my nephew's life. Now my brother is married, and they had my other nephew. All kids involved have been able to have a sibling-like relationship. And the adoptive parents are a part of our family.

The idea of my nephew being adopted by complete strangers did not sit well with my family. We are the kind of family that no matter what, we are there for each other and were prepared to rally around my brother if he would have been able to gain sole custody of his son. That option, however, was not available. My nephew’s biological mom was able to find his now adopted parents. They are absolutely amazing. My family has gotten to be there for every part of my nephew’s life. Now they are family.

Open adoption may seem daunting at first. Maybe it seems easier to have it closed, adopt the child, and put their birth family in the past. If my nephew’s adoptive parents would have chosen closed adoption, we all would have lost the richness of expanding each other’s family. We get to celebrate holidays and birthdays together. We have even enjoyed a family vacation all together.

Yes, maybe at first opening up your life to complete strangers may be scary, but I cannot imagine my life without my nephew or his parents in it. That is what open adoption gives you, family.  And that leads to family restoration.