This guest post is from Regent Law 2L Alex
Bateman:
Law students and aspiring lawyers are repeatedly asked two questions: 1) “What kind of law do you want to practice?” and 2) “Where are you going to take the bar exam?” Pondering these questions often results in more stress than even the most difficult law school course because it involves decisions that have definite life-long repercussions.
Although the choice of one’s practice area is massively difficult to determine, it is usually related to one’s strengths, passions, or interests. It also, typically, bears less urgency to determine and can be changed more easily down the road if necessary. However, the second question, in my opinion, is far more complicated to answer and change. I personally believe that discerning God’s will in our lives is the best way to answer this question, but not everyone is a believer and even fewer are confident in discerning the Lord’s path forward. Nonetheless, many factors (difficulty of the state bar exam, cost of living, income of potential jobs, physical landscape of the area, location of friends or family, etc.) are at play when deciding where to take the bar, where to establish a career, and, ultimately, where to build a life. I believe (of course, besides discerning the Lord’s will) the deciding factor should be to live close to family members. At least, being close to family made this decision a no-brainer for me.
My wife and I both come from families with at least four kids whose parents have been married for over thirty years. Both sets of our parents and most of our siblings live in the same city as we do, so whether we’ve liked it or not, family has always been a big part of our lives. We love our families, and we spend as much time with them as we can. Our family members are some of our best friends, and they are a big part of our support system. Now that my wife and I have a child, we have relied more than ever on our parents and siblings. Life after law school will undoubtedly become even more chaotic. Adding in a demanding, although rewarding, career and more children will require us to rely on our families more and more. But we are thrilled to have this opportunity because we know of many people who either don’t have any more family around or they purposely avoid family due to unresolved conflicts.
It would be naïve not to recognize the well-known fact that family relationships are not easy to maintain, and, for some, family is the source of deep hurts and conflict. I wouldn’t dare pretend that family is always clean and easy. In fact, our family is messy and difficult most of the time. Nonetheless, we are called to “bear with each other and forgive one another . . . as the Lord forgave [us].”[1] Forgiveness is tricky. We are taught from a young age that it is proper to forgive those who have hurt or offended us and that the purpose is to free that person from the offense. This may be true, but I would argue that forgiveness actually serves the forgiver more than the forgivee. It allows for anger, animosity, and resentment to be released, and those places filled with love, joy, and peace. There are certain offenses, especially with family, that require more healing and a longer forgiveness process. I think the process and results remain the same, and the Lord honors that intentional forgiveness.[2]
The benefits, although sometimes not
recognizable, of being with family on a regular basis far outweigh the
difficulties associated with close relationships. Family is hard, but it is
worth fighting for. Family has the unique ability to teach us lessons that no
other experience or relationship can teach. Our family members can be an
irreplaceable and invaluable resource in life. When poured into and fought for,
family can be a force to be reckoned with and an unstoppable support system.
Everyone, especially law students and aspiring lawyers, should heavily consider
this when deciding where to take the bar exam and establish a career.
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