It Takes a Village

 

This guest post is from Callista Chartier, Regent Law 2L student:

 

How is family defined?  Should it only refer to the nuclear family, the extended family, or should non-blood relatives be included as well?

Does family come with responsibility?  When does it exist?  For whom?  To what extent?  Do responsibilities exist both up and down the age ladder?  Are responsibilities subject to change depending on circumstance?

Many people look no further than the nuclear family when it comes to care.  Others feel they had been raised by a multitude of family members and thus feel it is appropriate to care for those same individuals when they get older.  Still others believe that no obligation to family exists–even for parents.  With an aging Boomer population, it is becoming important to figure out where one’s values land.

Family is not something that should be viewed as a responsibility begrudgingly, but a set of people we care for because of care that has been extended to us.

To give one example, I’ll share about a member of my family who I will call Sally.  Sally believes strongly in the importance of family.  She spent much of her life giving her time and energy to her family–nuclear and extended–even when no obligation existed.  I remember a time when I visited her when I was little and the patience and care she extended to my young, hyper self.  Now, she is at an age and in a mental state where she needs someone to care for her.

Unfortunately, Sally’s children are not in a position where they can give her the care she needs.  This effectively left her in the hands of the state.  Fortunately, the state did not become her guardian. Several other members of my family believed it was important for her guardian to be family­–someone who knew her and could better serve her desires.  This was indisputable to my family who knew well of the care Sally had given them.  One member took days off from work to be declared as her legal guardian.  This was a multi-step process that included applying for guardianship and going to court to justify his ability to take on that role.  The intent was for him to become a more lenient legal guardian than the state would have been for her.

After he became her guardian, it became possible for Sally to be moved into a senior living facility closer to where the majority of my family is currently living.  This circumstance allows for her mental needs to be met while members of the family take turns caring for her.  Her life would have looked a lot different (notably, more restrictive) if the state had been left in charge of her.

It is said that it takes a village to raise a child.  The village should also be there to support their elders.