“What does it mean to be a Dad?”

 

This guest post is from Alex Bateman, Regent 2L and current Family Law student:

In the Family Law course at Regent University School of Law, we recently discussed the law surrounding parentage rights, especially the rights of fathers. Unfortunately, most of the case law and state codes revolve around absent fathers and attempting to combat the resulting detrimental effects on children, mothers, and even the fathers themselves. During the discussion, the professor asked the class, “what does it mean to be a dad?” The entire class, including myself, sat quietly unable to put it into words. This question was especially interesting for me because my wife and I were blessed to welcome our first child into the world last May. As I reflected on the past nine months of being a new dad and our class discussion, I was reminded of something Jesus said.

 In Matthew 22:36-40, Jesus answered the question “which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” with “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. The second is like it, You should love your neighbor as yourself. The whole Law and the Prophets depend on these two commandments.” Our tendency is to focus on the first commandment because it relates to our relationship with God, and the second commandment is usually watered down to something resembling the Golden Rule—treating others the way you want to be treated. Although this interpretation is not a bad thing, I believe it is a misinterpretation of what Jesus meant. The Golden Rule at face value seems to be all about other people; however, it still places us as the center of the analysis. I believe that Jesus is saying we should prioritize God and others above ourselves in everything that we do—thinking about ourselves last. As humans, we inherently consider ourselves and our plans first. I believe Jesus, our creator and the one who knows us better than anyone else, said this to address our default way of thinking about ourselves first. According to Jesus, we were made to put God and others above ourselves in our thoughts and actions. This is where true life is found.

         Our professor frequently says our priorities should be organized according to “Master, Mate, and Mission.” “Master” refers to God. “Mate” refers to spouse. I never realized how much I thought about myself and what I wanted to do until I married my wife. I quickly realized that loving my wife above myself was a difficult yet rewarding venture. My selfishness became even more apparent after our daughter was born. I found myself getting frustrated when things didn’t go according to my plan. “Mission” is more difficult than the others to define, but it usually refers to other people, work, and ministry. However, as I’ve considered the question posed to us by our professor and what Jesus said, I believe the most important mission of fathers is being present, prioritizing their children, and thinking selflessly.

         Being a dad means that it’s not about you. A father’s “Mission” is to prioritize his children above himself, his career, and his plans. Your spouse and your children are the first and most important neighbors referred to in the second commandment.