Is Jesus Heedless Toward Marital Violence?

 

This guest post is courtesy of Alejandro Cevallos, Regent Law 3L and current Family Law student:

The common law is clear regarding marriage when it comes to violence. It is forbidden. However, the law goes a step further and allows married couples to divorce because one or both spouses are living in a state of violence. As a future Christian attorney I am faced with a moral question.

Whether a Christian attorney should advise his or her clients to pursue a divorce when one or both spouses are committing acts of violence against the other?

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Mark 10:7-9.

In law school we learn that a rule may have exceptions. Does an agreement between a man and woman made before God to bind each other to put the interest of the other above their own, historically known as marriage, have any exceptions? “It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, except on the grounds of porneia (sexual immorality), makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Matthew 5:31-32. It seems adultery may be the only clear exception to break the covenant of marriage made before God.

Jesus lived on earth during Ancient Israel. Women’s rights were not a pressing issue for which iconic lawyers like Ruth Bader Ginsberg advocated. (In fact women were not even considered as legal persons.) Scripture may seem limited, but at the same time fairly telling on how women were perceived at that time, particularly as we consider the Holy Scripture verses in Proverbs 31 detailing the wife of noble character. Consider also two New Testament verses in light most favorable to Jesus. First, 1 Peter 3:7 which says, “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” Second, John 1:14 which says, “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

Jesus knew men could be physically stronger than their wives and He knew men might abuse this gift. Although John 1:14 may not be words directly from the mouth of Jesus it is believed by Christians that the gospel writings are inspired by the same Holy Spirit that rose Jesus from the dead. Jesus says in John 5:39, “You search the Scriptures because you think they give you eternal life. But the Scriptures point to me!” This is true for both the Old and New Testaments.

Jesus was fully aware that within some marriages exist violence. For some reason he chose not to address it. This is not the only area of morality Jesus is silent on. Jesus does not argue for or against slavery, he does not tell his followers how to select their rulers, and he does not even mention the appropriate age for consent of marriage.

As a Christian attorney I might very well advise my clients to pursue divorce if there is substantial evidence that violence is taking place within the marriage.  (If this is a sin then as Oswald Chambers says so eloquently in his book My Upmost for His Highest, “Christ forgives us for both the sins we commit consciously and unconsciously.” Christ taught teach his disciples to pray, “Forgive us our debts.” Matthew 6:12.)

But I also need to help them to get safe.  I need to ask God for grace to handle these critical matters.  I need to remember the way it was from the beginning, again as Christ reminds us, that it wasn’t meant to be that way:

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Mark 10:7-9.

Jesus is not heedless toward marital violence – it is forbidden, as the two are one flesh. 

So on the question of whether a Christian attorney should advise his or her clients to pursue a divorce when one or both spouses are committing acts of violence against the other – I hope I can be a lawyer who empathizes with his clients in ways that help to restore them, both to God and to their family, but if that is not possible, to help them get safe from an abusive spouse.