Are Christians Failing to Preserve Marriage?

 

This guest post is from Sean O’Dea, Regent Law 3L & Family Law student:

Marriage rates have continued to decline with increasing rapidity in the United States since the mid-20th century. Christians are rightly concerned about these developments, as marriage has historically served as the institution best oriented to aid in child-rearing. While Christian marriage advocacy efforts have attempted to reverse current trends, little has been accomplished. Why? Christian advocacy has failed because it has ignored the growing issues inside of marriage itself that have rightfully begun to discourage participation in the institution.

Marriage is no longer a Christian institution. The State has usurped the power of the Church, effectively replacing the Church as the arbiter of marriage. This has eroded the power of the Church to regulate divorce and has led to the widespread proliferation of no-fault divorce. While the Catholic and Orthodox Churches still maintain some control over marriage, having retained the authority to deny communion to those who obtain a divorce without ecclesiastical authorization, most Protestant denominations fail to even exercise this level of control. Christians should ask themselves, “Who has the authority to end my marriage?” If your answer is “me” or “my spouse” or “the State,” your marriage is institutionally indistinguishable from a secular, state-granted marriage. Marriage has been reduced from a binding religious covenant to a secularized contractual relationship that can be unilaterally terminated anytime by either spouse. When Christians blindly advocate for marriage, they advocate for a diseased version of the former religious institution.

Due to the role feminism has played in transfiguring Christianity, traditional spousal duties inside of marriage have been completely eroded. The battle over reproductive rights has resulted in diminishing the blessing of bearing children. In fact, the act of terminating one’s pregnancy is now considered by our culture as an act of female empowerment. The unfortunate result is a below replacement birthrate and the necessitation of mass immigration to make up for the shortfall. Too many see marriage as a form of patriarchal oppression, rather than understanding the biblical mandate that husbands have the ultimate duty to lay down their lives for their wives. The erosion of spousal sharing of duties has led away from the team concept in marriage and parenting as well. The societal stigma attached to abandoning one’s wife and children is not completely gone but is eroding and becoming more common. The rationalization is often that if women have a right to have their children killed, men should at least have the right to abandon their children. Our society’s social cohesion will continue to unravel unless Christians can return to the biblical design for marriage, with oneness in marriage enshrined in hearts and minds.  That mindset always translates to family blessings beyond measure.

If Christians can return their marriages to reflect traditional biblical conduct and lifestyle rather than reflecting worldly standards promoted by secular society we can make a difference.  Christians and Christian institutions ought to strive to be distinct from society, not conform to society. We are called to transformational living, where husbands and wives honor and love each other for a lifetime, and pass those values on to their children.  If that can be accomplished, the institution of marriage will not only not die inside the United States, but can thrive and change the world for good.