A mother grabs her work bag and waves goodbye to her children and their caregiver, their grandmother. A dad leaves the house on Sunday night to drive to another city for work, comfortable in the knowledge that his parents will take care of his son while he is gone for the week. Elsewhere, two preschoolers are playing on a playground during the week and the little girl is being pushed on the swings by her grandfather because her parents are not around anymore.
A common picture in modern America is that of grandparents raising their grandchildren. The reasons for this setup vary drastically from simple daycare needs while mom and dad are at work, to the grandparents having primary custody because the parents are not fit. Currently, over 2.4 million children live in "grandfamilies" or kinship care arrangements (Annie E. Casey Foundation, September 2024).
However, another common aspect of this picture is a lack of legal protection for all the parties involved. It is normal that a need for a quick reaction to a bad situation or access to limited resources necessitates that the parties simply do the best they can initially to handle the situation. However, as the situation stabilizes, it is key that everyone consider and take the right legal steps to protect the legal rights of parties involved in the case of emergencies or even if relationships deteriorate.
Medical Care
Even if parents are simply utilizing the grandparents for daily care, it is important to consider how medical care (both routine and emergency) will be handled. Parents and grandparents should come to an understanding of what to do in the various situations that might arise when taking care of children. Additionally, the parents should consider executing a medical consent form that gives the grandparents the right to make medical decisions an emergency.
Daily Life Decisions
Caregivers for children make a million decisions ever single day. What should we serve for breakfast, lunch, dinner? Should we go on a walk to the playground? Should we sign up for swimming or ballet lessons? Is that skirt too short? It’s amazing that parents and grandparents don’t end up with decision paralysis more often!
A parental designation form or grandparent power of attorney are helpful forms to make it clear to authorities that the grandparents have the rights to make daily decision for their grandchildren. Another benefit of these forms is that (correctly executed) they can also provide protections for the grandparents in a situation where relationships sour. If the parents decide that they don’t like some of the decisions that the grandparents made for the children, then the grandparents can defend themselves against such accusations with these forms.
Temporary Guardianship
No one plans on relationships deteriorating or even complete estrangement, but it does happen. If a parent is planning to leave for a short time to work in another city or perhaps to recover from illness, it is a good idea to consider executing a Caregiver's Authorization Affidavit or another type of temporary guardianship form. This form will protect the parents’ rights to recover their child in the sad case of a breakdown in relationship with the caregiver.
Additionally, if/when the parents return and regain custody of the children, grandparents should be aware that if they allow the child to return to the parents' care without formally terminating or modifying the custody order, the grandparents could potentially be held liable for anything that happens with the child’s well-being.
TLDR-Summary:
As the past generation is
stepping up to help care for the next generation, it is important to keep in
mind that the legal system may not always recognize situations outside of what
has been the “cultural norm.” Parents and Grandparents should seek legal
counsel and sign paperwork to both protect the legal rights of all parties and
smooth the way for the grandparents to be able to effectively and efficiently
take care of the children.
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