Put a Ring on It?

 This guest post is courtesy of Luther “Kes” Townsend, Jr., Regent Law 3L and current Family Law student:

I have an acquaintance who I will call Marisha. Marisha started dating a high school friend Chad when they were in their late thirties. After several years of dating, they finally got engaged and decided to move in together. In fact, they decided to buy a house together so they would have a house when they married.

Ten years have now passed. Marisha, her daughter from a previous relationship, and Chad have lived in this house for that time. Chad’s daughter from another relationship also lives there according to a visitation schedule. Marisha has faithfully made the mortgage payments and Chad has paid the utility bills. However, the couple never married even though they had gotten engaged. The relationship also soured enough during the past three years that Marisha is ready to move out.

Marisha and Chad are listed on the mortgage paperwork as joint tenants. However, when the deed was filed after they purchased the house, only Chad’s name was listed as the owner. Chad also took out a second mortgage in the interim. Chad has also purchased two cars for Marisha and her daughter, but they are titled in his name.

Marisha and her daughter plan to move out of the house within a month. She has talked with Chad to resolve the situation. She feels that she should be able to obtain some of the equity from the house, especially since she has been making the mortgage payments. Chad has agreed to give her some money and the cars once he refinances the house (if he can refinance by himself). However, she could be out of luck if he really wanted to force the issue. She could move and he stays in “his” house, but she could still be responsible for part of the mortgage. I wonder what will really happen.

Marriage protects vulnerable parties not only during the marriage, but in the event of separation or divorce.  Marisha does not enjoy those protections.  Rather, despite her hard work of making mortgage payments and taking care of the home and the family she is in the weakest possible position to recover any remedy for her efforts.

The moral of the story is if you are buying a house with someone because you are getting married, get married first and then buy the house, not in reverse order. Secondly, if you are buying a house, check the deed to ensure your name is on it to protect your ownership interest.

Putting a ring on the relationship via engagement is a sign of commitment, but marriage is what really works to protect families toward family restoration.