Talking Death with Parents

This guest post is from Courtney Massie, Regent Law 3L:

 Death is a hard thing to face, and talking about death is not much easier; however, it is vital that adult children talk with their parents about the parents’ death. It is not an easy topic to discuss, nor is it one that just casually fits into everyday conversation. It is a sensitive topic, especially with an aging parent. No one wants to think about dying.

I think as children, we all hope that our parents will die of old age, peacefully. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. Parents are dying from sickness, or even unexpectedly. The last thing an adult child wants to do after just losing their parent, is plan a funeral. One of the greatest, last gifts a parent can leave their child, is to have the funeral arrangements already made in advance.

An aging parent might not have ever thought about planning their funeral in advance if their adult child does not mention it. The parent can meet with the funeral home or his or her church and plan the entire service from the flowers to the payment. The parent can decide if they want to be cremated, and if not, they can pick their casket and even tombstone.

My mom is very sick. We have had more conversations about her death than I care to admit. We have visited the funeral home together, discussed what she wants, and even how everything will be paid for. Last year when we were told she only had 14 weeks to live, planning a funeral was not something we had to do. It was already done, and that was a breath of fresh air in a difficult time. Fortunately, my mom has exceeded that 14-week expectation, and I thank God every day she is still with us, but I know death is inevitable. I am so thankful that she has already planned her funeral, and when the time comes, I will be able to just focus on grieving